Fuck, I forgot I had a blog Fridays.
This picture is as minimally related to the post as possible.
Alliterative post titles are popular among blogs that are written by narcissistic and unimaginative hacks. Since I have posted nothing in nearly a year, I thought I would get in on that shit.
Example: Things I Love Thursdays, through my 35 seconds of google research seems to have been created by some weird looking chick named Gala Darling. On Thursdays she writes about how much she loves jingly bracelets, cupcakes, and having the only men who think she is attractive be flaming homosexuals.
We are supposed to believe her blog pays for her international playgirl lifestyle, when in reality she has wealthy parents who pay for it all of her flights and shopping sprees. Oh yeah, she legally changed her name to fucking Gala Darling because she wanted a name that was as weird as her face.
Sadly her “Things I love Thursdays” schtick seems to have been lovingly replicated on every vapid chick blog I run across. They are all horrible and I knew I could do better, so here is my own ONE TIME ONLY VERSION.(NOTE: THIS IS PROBABLY NOT GOING TO BE FUNNY UNLESS YOU CHECKED OUT THE LINK ABOVE)
Informing the people I’m eating sushi with that the “Super White Tuna” they like is actually escolar and banned from consumption in Japan because it causes oily orange diarrheaThe obese minority woman losing her kid on every episode of Huntington Beach Ocean ForcePBRSniffing my underwear and deciding it is “Just clean enough”Big ol’ bootiesWhen someone prefaces a conversation with: ‘I’m not gay or anything, but”, “I’m not racist or anything, but” or ‘This is completely legal”When I applied for a job as a PA on the Jerry Springer show and the website asked me if I had ever been a program manager of a contract with Department of Defense over $10 millionThrowing sand at seagullsCupcakesThe perpetual domestic dispute that has occurred in the neighboring apartment of everywhere I have lived since 2006Eating tuna straight from the can with my fingersRefusing to flush my pee after eating asparagusMy Xbox 360 surviving until just after the warranty expires, forcing me to repair it myself so I don’t have to pay Microsoft $100 to fix their poorly designed productIt is gross when people make out in public, but if they are fucking, bystanders watch intently and record it with their cell phonesGuessing the ethnicity of the guy in front of me on the train based on the amount of hair on the back of his neckThe glowing first review of Serial: Amoral Uprising where the dude said that the acting was “Better than he expected” and not further elaboratingNever having to read that Gala Darling drivel again, because I’m done with this cheap joke.
Recent Comments