NO, NO, NO, I AM RIGHT

Somewhere in the last day or two Facebook unveiled a new feature that allows you to “like” status updates, links, pictures, videos, etc.  According to the developers, the reasoning behind the new feature is to save space in the comment sections, so that if Frank were just going to say “Cool” or “I agree” he could click “Like” instead. Not a terrible idea. My mind immediately took it in another direction.

The first status update I saw was from my friend Justin saying that he “is having internet problems once every few minutes.” I clicked “Like” and chuckled to myself.

I continued through the statuses, looking for more update to like ironically. Harmless fun, really. Matt Darst’s cat had a new update:

I didn’t feel bad, it’s just a gimmick profile by a man who supposedly doesn’t have enough time to complete the post production on a movie that he finished filming 2 years ago. I’m pretty sure his cat didn’t have a job in the first place.

I kept going through the status updates and searching the funniest things for me to like, again, nothing that horrible, but getting progressively distasteful. Here are some examples:

I admit the last one was a little rough.  But I wasn’t satisfied.  I had a thirst that needed to be quenched and I wouldn’t know where the line was until I crossed it.  I started looking deeply through my friends wall histories.  I found one from Matt Darst during the ice storm to gleefully like:

I laughed maniacally at my own sick joke.  He has a wife and cat at home for god’s sake.

I couldn’t stop.

I would like to say that was the line for me, mocking a friend’s realization of his own mortality.  I would say it if it weren’t a lie.  It was my favorite “like” yet.

For a man like myself that mainly uses social networking sites to harass his friends, I have to say that this may be my favorite recent Facebook feature.  The novelty is probably going to be there for a while.  I simply need to remind myself to stay off of Facebook whenever anyone has a relative die.

I like liking inappropriate things on Facebook, and I challenge everyone who reads this to do the same.  Feel free to paste your favorite example of ‘liking it’ in the comments section.